Hither and thither — 7/10/09

Well I thought it'd be scarce pickings today. But no. Rich assortment of laughs, groans, points to ponder, and weirdness.

• Happy John Calvin's birthday! Five hundred years old, and his vision of the sovereign glory of God remains undimmed, and still drives the otherwise-inclined absolutely barking mad.
  
• And by starkest contrast: Yesterday, among other shark-jump indicators, we noted Episcopilpalpalian "Bishop" Katherine Jefferts Schori denying individual salvation. Some saw a worthy point (in one interpretation of her words) in her denial that a simple prayer brings salvation. Here's a little more of a reminder of Schiori's thinking. It isn't remotely Christian.
  
• So I was jolted, like everyone else, with the resignation of Sarah Palin. As the dust clears, we're getting some more thoughtful and calm analysis. John Fund builds a case that makes sense and fits what we know of Palin. Additionally, Ann Coulter makes her usual mild, dainty, on-target sorts of observations. And finally, a local Alaska writer (Tim Lindell) may make the best case of all.
  
• And to nod to the other big story, here's a compressed and intelligent article on Michael Jackson and religion... if you care.
• If not, here's this:
  

• Sexual perversion makes you an expert on Jesus Christ, Christianity, and church growth. Or what other sense can you make of this? Or can you make any sense of it at all?
• Lose your laptop? Maybe it's at LAX.
• And then there are... NERDCAKES!

• Reader Berry Davis points us to some cool Transformer cakes.

• There's a little burger bistro in Sacramento which I mean to visit someday. It's called the Squeeze Inn, because it's such a tiny place. Turns out I'd better hurry. A disability-fascist may get it closed down. This story pretty well illustrates why I sometimes call myself a "Republitarian."
• Clarifying discourse: I think accommodations for genuinely disabled folks is a great thing. I'm all for it. I think it's kind, merciful, humanitarian, and otherwise good. I also think it isn't my inalienable right to force the entire world — at gunpoint, or at writpoint — to accommodate me and my needs. And I hate that the land of the free and the home of the brave is becoming the worst place in the world to try to succeed at anything; and I blame the courts for a lot of it. I can't climb a rope to save my life. But if a restaurant gets built in a treehouse and is accessible only by ropes, I wouldn't dream of suing it into building an elevator. Now, if I had a disabled friend who really wanted to do business at a store that wasn't constructed to accommodate him, I would be willing to ask the store to make accommodations — assuming there is no other such store at which he can do business. I might be willing to do lots of things to try to persuade them to do so. Or I'd offer to shop there for him. But bring the whole force and weight of government down on their heads to force them to do so at gunpoint, or jail them or put them out of business? No sir.
• Our British bro Gary Benfold brings a relatively rare bit of good news from the mother country. Tenuous protection of free speech vis-a-vis homosexual (and other immoral) conduct remains in place, though by what seems to me a close vote.
  
• Now as the semi-regular feature for our Lego fans, this photographer's page, thanks to a loyal reader (who I think prefers to remain anonymous). They've got prominent copyright notes, and I don't want to annoy the photog. Do note at least the one captioned It's a trap!
• Cone pizza. Nom nom nom.

• "I'm the King of the... Death Star!"

• Want a peek into how an evil mind views abortion? Witness Supreme Court Justice Ruth "Darth" Bader Ginsburg. This is cold-blooded pro-abort absolutism at its ugliest; the spirit of Margaret Sanger and her racist eugenics lives on in the highest court of the land.
• BTW and in related news, don't ever forget that Hillary! is a huge fan of that selfsame bloody-handed racist.
• Also related: breaking news! The LAT favors racism! Well... only good racism.
• When liberals try to call themselves "progressives," just chuckle. Drives them nuts.
• Soon, your child may be able to sleep in a Tauntaun — just like Luke Skywalker! (Warning: crude word in article title.)
  

• And finally, what would H&T be without....
  

The question is not whether the Episcopal Church has jumped the shark

Rather, the question is whether it can even still see the dim image of a dorsal fin in the rear-view mirror.

For instance.

For another instance.

For yet another instance.

A 2 Timothy 2:15 parable

You are undergoing a very complicated bit of major surgery. The outcome could help you a lot. Or, if it goes wrong, it could leave you paralyzed, in constant pain, severely crippled, or dead.

Due to the unusual nature of the procedure, you remain conscious but immobilized and mute throughout the surgery.

All the shaving and daubing and anesthetizing has been done, and you are wheeled into the theater. A team awaits. There is the surgeon.

"You're in excellent hands," a nurse says. All the other attending professionals agree.

The surgeon leans over you. "Nothing to worry about, nothing at all," he says, and begins.

All is virtually silent, apart from occasional beeps and clicks. Then:

"Oops," the surgeon says.

Then, "Oh well."

Oh well?

A few minutes later, you hear, "Nurse, hand me that... that thingie. That whatsis. You know, the bogotron. I think that's what I'm looking for."

Bogotron? You're pretty sure that's a made-up word. You hear some unsettling slicing and sloshing... then a sudden splip!

"Hunh," the surgeon says in a bemused tone. "Ah... I don't think we needed that anyway."

After which you hear a swoosh and a splop!, as something moist lands in a can off to your right.

"Okay, I think this is what I'm looking for," the surgeon murmurs. "Or... wasn't it supposed to be smaller? This looks big. Janitor, does this look big to you?" Someone mutters incomprehensibly. You think English probably wasn't his native language. There's some rough laughter. The surgeon joins in. When he leans back into your field of vision, he's wiping mirthful tears from his eyes.

"Ah me, I've never had so much fun!" he exclaims, then hunches back over your abdominal area. "Let's see... where was I? Oh crud, that thingie's sunk back in there. Crud crud crud, I'll never find it now. Well, this one probably is just as good. I don't like its color, anyway. Nurse, hand me that... that... that shiny sharp dealie. No, not that - well, never mind, that'll do, I'm pretty sure. I've wanted to use that anyway, see what it does. Now's as good a time as ever."

How do you feel about your surgery now?

(This parable tags on to this.)

Ohhhhh boy: Michael Jackson tree stump

There is so much that is sad, and weird, and troubling about this.

"I think they're about equal."

Oh boy. Our work is far from done.

"Jesus?"

Another remarkable resource page: Reformed writers (Calvin, Warfield, Machen, Hodges, many others)

Still getting up to speed after being out of town for the weekend. Wonderful time with my dear family, in the beloved Sierra. Maybe I'll do some pix, here or there, sooner or later.

Meanwhile... not all are the prettiest and fanciest in terms of formatting, but I was able to find an article I wanted to read HERE.

Check it out!

Eleanor Powell taps: impressive sequence

Reader David Achilles gave me a heads-up on a classic video, which is a bit reminiscent of Let the Beat Build. [NOTE: first link I had saved has now been removed; I've replaced it with one that is a bit lower-quality.]

Dig that continues take which comprises nearly the first minute and a half. What discipline, what art, what sheer athleticism. Amazing accomplishment. And all that in taps with heels. It reminds me again of how often I've thought that good tap-dancers were like drummers, except that they use feet and floors instead of sticks and skins.

Here's a little "behind-the-scenes" action.

Eleanor Powell EXCLUSIVE Behind the Scenes UNIQUE RECORDING
by tapdance

Palin resigns

Yes, I know I'm supposed to be on vacation (as my Dear Wife reminded me), but even so I heard the news of Sarah Palin announcing her resignation as Alaska's governor. I was surprised, like everyone else, and puzzled, like ditto.

I've read a number of analyses, none of them really heart-lifting. And of them all, as so often happens, Mark Steyn's take seems like it packs an awful lot of common sense. At present, it makes about the best sense to me.

Hither and thither — 7/3/09

Shortest. HT. Ever. (In terms of text/graphics ratio.)

• The only soap opera I've ever watched was Dark Shadows, back in the late '60s, early 70s. So it is with only distant interest that I note two soap actors losing their jobs because they don't want to be used for more forced perversion-mainstreaming.
• One word, and it deserves to be large: PWN3D.
• Important Health Tip from reader NoLongerBlind:

• For my Lego fans and parents of same, here is a page of Lego art. Some samples (click to enlarge):

• The most positive spin I can put on this next item is: California is no longer guilty of sending the worst senator to Washington. Meanwhile, Congress' collective IQ drops another couple of ticks. One more similar election, and we'll be in the negative column.
  
• Sometimes it's good to be reminded how sober, a-theological, and fiercely objective all Real Scientists are. (I particularly appreciate the deep concern from the female Real Scientist who (A) finds the theology of the Creation Museum "offensive" and a distortion of the Christian message, and (B) is an elder in a Presbyterian church. One assumes she handles the data of the fossils as objectively and accurately as she handles the data of Scripture.
  
• Inspired by our special Admiral Ackbar edition, Herding Grasshoppers' boys thought of us and forwarded this ad they received (click to enlarge):

• Dude... you're doing it wrong.

• Here's a Whoa, what's up with that? picture.

• And then, of course, there's....
  

Luther and Packer on repentance

"When our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ, said "Repent", He called for the entire life of believers to be one of repentance" (Martin Luther, thesis #1 of 95)

"Repentance means turning from as much as you know of your sin to give as much as you know of yourself to as much as you know of your God, and as our knowledge grows at these three points so our practice of repentance has to be enlarged" (Keep in Step with the Spirit [Revell: 1984], 104)

Note and reminder about ChristianAudio

NOTE: this month's free download is Francis Chan's Crazy Love (h-t- Justin).

REMINDER: the big sale I told you about at ChristianAudio ends tomorrow night at 11:59pm.

Film ratings and selections

The Washington Times did an article about how meaningless PG-13 can be. We've obviously noticed it as well. Some movies with that rating really should be "R," while others could just as well have been PG. We refer to "hard" and "soft" examples.

When I'm trying to make a decision, I'll look to Screenit. It is the most comprehensive, detailed and explicit, going as far as actually counting and detailing cusswords and problematic imagery. The drawback is that you have to pay to see reviews of brand-new movies when they come out; otherwise, you have to wait around three days after they hit the theaters.

I also use Christian Spotlight, but with a grain of salt. Their reviewers are just people who get into the movies then write. They aren't given reviewer passes, so reviews won't be out until the movies have been in the theaters. Also, reviewers are of widely varying quality. I've thought some reviewers absolutely clueless. Yet they always give the movies artistic rating and moral ratings, and usually comment on the movie's suitability for kids. Plus, they print positive, negative, and neutral comments from folks who have gone, giving their ages. Sometimes those are more useful than the reviews.

Besides reading major reviews such as Ebert (good writer, usually fun to read even if I don't agree — but morally largely unconcerned) and trying to hear or see if Michael Medved reviews a movie, those are my main resources.

What do you use?

Michael Jackson's mourners: grieving as those who have no hope

According to this report, twelve grieving Michael Jackson fans have committed suicide in the wake of his death.

Think of that. Michael Jackson was a gifted, talented individual. He was also a famously and deeply troubled man, wounded and wounding. At worse, he was also a perpetrator of the worst sort. Now, we will likely never know the true sum of it.

There is no harm in appreciating a person's gifts and enjoying his art. But — again, I stress if the report is accurate — here are people so bound up with this broken shell of a man that their life loses meaning when he dies.

Contrast that will my brother and friend Phil Johnson's moving tribute to a dear friend and coworker. His title is "At Home with the Lord (2 Cor. 5:8)."

It is clear that Phil, and many others, are shocked and saddened at Mike Taylor's passing. Taylor didn't perform to sold-out arenas nor get his picture plastered over magazines and posters and billboards. He never had a video on MTV. He wasn't known for bizarre eccentricities. What he was known for was an infectious and hearty laugh, and for his love for Jesus Christ and for people.

The legacy Taylor leaves is lives touched for the Gospel, made better by encouragement and instruction in the Word, better-prepared for eternity. Jackson leaves people with nothing, except (in the case of the alleged twelve) a feeling that with him gone, they're empty, and life is too painful. (For some, it's even worse than that, if this isn't a pathetic joke.)

Taylor's parting saddens all who knew and loved them, but they have a hope that can't be shaken. Taylor's passing actually sweetens their appreciate of what he believed, taught, and lived for: which is to say the Gospel.

It all brings to mind this poignant passage from the apostle Paul:

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18)

Christians do grieve. We are sad. We weep. We miss the sweet fellowship of our brothers and sisters, friends, spouses, children, who die in the Lord. But we do not mourn as having no hope.

Nor is it a wispy hope, as pagans have. I am constantly saddened to read unbelieving or superstitious conservatives over at FreeRepublic. When someone whom they like (i.e. Farrah Fawcett, recently) dies, they immediately proclaim the person as "in a better place." Why? On what basis?

On no basis whatever, with no authority and on no solid grounds.

Yet Christians have the objective historical fact of Jesus' bodily resurrection, and of the whole mass of His teachings which that resurrection confirms. Our hope is solid, and grounded.

If you don't have that hope for yourself, do not have reason to believe on God's own authority that you have a real involvement with Jesus Christ, then you must seek Him. Now is only opportunity you're sure of.

You have no greater priority.

ADDENDUM: Pastor Chris Anderson comments on a report that Jackson prayed with Andre Crouch shortly before his death. As is always the case with Chris, his thoughts are pointed and solid.

There may be dumber games than "cheese rolling"...

...but I don't want to see them.

Happy Monday... if that isn't a phrase too thick with irony.

Trivialest. Post. Ever.

My iPhone 3GS is supposed to arrive today.

Hither and Thither — 6/26/09

One short stack, coming right up:

• I think this nicely sums up a lot of the "reporting" this week:

• Well, I'll be. Sometimes there s some justice. A Kansas teacher, seemingly dismissed for being too patriotic (and too conservative), is reinstated.
• On Monday or Tuesday, I listened to a John Piper talk from the Resolved conference. I heard him say, "Sin makes you stupid." Then on Wednesday South Carolina governor Mark Sanford (GOP) admitted he'd spent his Father's Day weekend pursuing extramarital immorality. Sin makes you stupid.
  
• Were Sanford a Democrat, this would be a career-enhancer. As it is, he is a Republican, so there should be a political price to pay. And this Brit correctly explains why Sanford must resign.
• Oh, and btw, as we all quite correctly shake our heads and tsk! at Sanford's appalling, immoral idiocy, I say to us all: 1 Corinthians 10:12. The man did not wake up one day thinking, "You know, I think I'll betray every last person who has a shred of confidence in me, make nonsense of everything I've ever stood for, hurt everyone I love as well as people I've never met, and ruin not only my life and career but many others as well! Sounds like fun, let's go!" Reflect, and fear.
• On the subject (sort of) of recently-observed Father's Day...

• Another of Charismaticism's unpaid bills: how many things are wrong with this story? But here's the irony: the thing the media and world will think is most wrong is the only thing that isn't wrong. (See also here, and check the "church" web site... if you dare.)
  
• CoE: since we can't offer the Gospel, let's give them...free beer, bacon rolls, and chocolate bars. Yep, friends. This is outreach, Anglican-style. Bring in the men — for beer!
• Thank an Obama voter if an ACORN census taker threatens you with the law to force you to give out information — on yourself or others — that the federal government has no business whatever having (click, click, click, click). One quick, foolish choice; years of progress undone, freedoms harmed. (Thanks to Carlo for some of that documentation.)
  
• Just amen, and duh.

• And then there's (click to enlarge)...
  

This week's troika of celebrity deaths: McMahon, Fawcett, Michael Jackson

Isn't it bizarre, how often celebrity deaths happen in threes? This week saw the passing of Johnny Carson's sidekick Ed McMahon, whose death was quickly overshadowed by the passing of actress Farrah Fawcett, who will now be pushed aside because of the death of Michael Jackson.

McMahon's celebrity largely rested on another's talent: the quick-witted quipster and twitchy talk-show host, Carson. He was the butt of Carson's affectionate jokes, and largely served to make Carson look good. (I once employed McMahon's role in a post about the ministry of the Holy Spirit.)

Farrah Fawcett grabbed the spotlight because of her great beauty, dazzling smile, a poster every teenaged boy (including me, as I recall) had on his wall, and some acting stints. Beyond the report that she was subjected to the (at-best) meaningless deathbed magic of Rome, I know nothing of her spiritual state.

Michael Jackson — well, what do you say? He definitely dwarfs the other two, in our culture, and for a strange amalgam of reasons.

He started out as a talented child in a talented family driven to success by a reportedly tyrannical father. He ended up as a bizarre, pitiable, enigmatic, repellent figure. Many question-marks will follow him to his grave.

Raised a Jehovah's Witness, Jackson appended a disclaimer to his history-making video for "Thriller" disavowing belief in the occult. In his later videos, Jackson went out of his way to distance himself from any notion of moral boundaries. They were a mixture of sweetness and creativity, and depravity. Catchy tunes and engaging inspiration were mixed with obscene or otherwise jarring imagery, in videos for such songs as "The Way You Make Me Feel" and "Black or White" or "Bad." A Jackson video came to be like a dazzling table setting, spattered with dung.

I can't easily think of someone who less needed to degrade himself, who more eagerly seemed to invent ways to do so.

Nor can I easily think of a more talented figure who displayed his unhealed brokenness so openly and yet unwillingly at the same time.

All one need do is look at the succession of photos of Jackson as he aged (or see here) to observe the misery in which he clearly lived, and the self-despising and self-destructive steps he took in the misbegotten hopes of dealing with it. This was a man unable to find peace with himself or the world.

Jackson starts out as a handsome young black child; then a handsome young black man. Then both Jackson's face and his skin-tone, as well as his masculinity, morph and change, like some sad creature caught in a transporter accident on a Star Trek movie. But whatever harm Jackson endured at the hands of others, those changes were self-inflicted, experienced under his own hands, at his own command.

To rephrase my observation in the meta of Justin Taylor's sensitive note of Jackson's passing,
Jackson was an individual equally remarkable for his giftedness, and his brokenness. To see Jackson over the years is to see the chronicle of a man who did not take his pain and sin to the Cross, and instead of experiencing God's regenerating grace, attempted his own handmade makeover. It was sad, tragic, and painful to watch.

What Jackson did to himself is what we all do to ourselves outside of Christ. The difference is that Jackson's failed attempts were all worn obviously, in public view, on the changing tapestry of his face, while we may mask ours better.

As you shrink from the Frankenstein shock of Jackson's visage, reflect: mankind was created in God's image (Genesis 1:26-28), and still bears that image (Genesis 9:6). But in seeking to take God's place and make themselves gods (Genesis 3), our foreparents did to their whole beings what Michael Jackson did to his face: they horridly disfigured themselves and all of us, leaving a repulsive mockery of what we were meant to be.

The only solution for us is not a succession of endeavors to remake ourselves. Each attempt leaves a worse spectacle than the previous, and moves us further from what we truly need.

The only solution for us is the solution to which Michael Jackson never submitted himself, as far as is known: to be born anew, under the good hand of our Creator. We do not need new faces. We need new natures. We need the miracle of regeneration, not the tragedy of manmade makeovers.

And this can only come through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Anonymous people from at least six continents pass through these pages every day. My prayer for you, whoever you are, is that you will take your hurts and brokenness and crimes against God to the only place when you can find forgiveness, healing, and reconciliation: to the Lord Jesus Christ.

(This week's Hither and Thither should go up around noon, PST)

Three AMAZING fan-made efforts

Some amazing works are being produced by fans. We recently had a gander at the fan-made Hunt for Gollum.

I just stumbled on three other remarkable fan-made efforts. These won't be for all of you, of course... but dude, if you've liked "super-heroes" at all, tell me you don't want to see this movie:

There's material for three movies in that trailer.

But that's not all. Another fan appreciated the work of actor Nathan Fillion (Firefly, Serenity, Angel, Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Castle), and dreamed about how cool a Green Lantern movie might be if he starred. The result (Parental warning: bad word in last scene):

And if you've not seen it, here's one more surprise (watch it before you show your kids):

Calling the Brain Trust: help me source an illustration on sovereign grace Gospel

I thought I knew where this came from, and evidently do not. It is a vivid way of depicting the fatal flaw in Arminian evangelism. It goes something like this:

Imagine that you walk into a morgue. Corpses on every slab, right and left. Ah, but you bring them a precious gift! You have the elixir of life in your hand! One sip, and they will live!

So you preach to them, you offer them the drink, you appeal to them, beg them, plead with them. At the climax of your utterly convincing, flawlessly-reasoned address, you set the golden chalice on a table in the center and issue an invitation. All they have to do is reach out, grasp the cup, and swallow its wondrous contents! All who will, may come and drink and live!

But that is exactly the problem. They can't. If they have to make the move that connects them to life, none will live, because they're all dead!

Now, I thought that was from van Til's Defense of the Faith. But I just scanned that, and can't find it. Was it from Murray's Redemption, Accomplished and Applied? I don't have that with me to check.

Can any of you brainiacs give me the book and the page?

Guitar chords for hymns

My first solo pastorate came to hurt for musical accompaniment. The hapless church's self-taught guitarist pastor reluctantly rose to the occasion by default.

Back in the 1980s there was no interwebs to speak of (Algore hadn't invented it), and limited music available. So, though unable to read music, I chorded familiar hymns by ear. We sang two hymns, two choruses at each service. I did the best I could.

Wish I'd had THIS!

(h-t m'mate Craig)

UPDATE: Gary in the meta also points to this resource. (Thanks, Gary!)

Dad is a pastor? Hunh; why didn't God think of that?

I mean, it seems like such a great analogy, and full of wonderful thoughts. Dad is a pastor. His family is his little tiny church. Cool!

Everybody's saying it. If I've read that assertion once, I've read or heard it dozens of times. Driscoll just released a book with that in the title, and you can read online for free.

Now, this isn't a bag-on-Driscoll post. It isn't even in any sense an about-Driscoll. post. The idea isn't original with him, and his book may have many great ideas. I'll probably look through it later.

But so many great people give this "Dad is a pastor" line that I'm a bit puzzled that no one has pointed out: the Bible never says anything like that.

Shouldn't that be significant? I mean, if it's such a great idea, how come God didn't come up with it first?

I remember in Pastoral Ministry class, reading the text by Criswell (I think it was this one). He talked about being a prophet, a priest, and a king, and how a pastor was all those things. As I recall, I wrote in my margin something like "Yeah, except that he's none of those things. That would be the Messiah."

Ditto dad-as-pastor. You may make the case that he should lead his family. True! And he should teach them the Word. True! And he should care for and pray for their souls. True! and true!

"Say," remarks some well-meaning sage. "A pastor does those things!" True again.

But the Bible never says the dad is a pastor, is like a pastor, is sort of a pastor. Never once. So it must not be an analogy we need.

And besides, Mom assists dad in many of those same things. Does that make her an associate-pastor?

The ugly side-effect of this popular, made-up notion is that it can encourage arrogant, self-absorbed, loveless isolationists to withdraw from the challenging nitty-gritty of actual church-fellowship. After all, why do they need to go to church? Dad is the pastor, the family is the church. Just stay at home, sing the hymns that The McGillicutty Family likes to sing, pray prayers the length The McGillicutty Family likes to pray, preach on texts and topics that The McGillicutty Family likes to hear, stay away from anything and everything The McGillicutty Family doesn't enjoy, and let The McGillicutty Family fellowship with The McGillicutty Family.

Sinful?

How can it be?!

Dad is the pastor!

Jib Jab strikes again, with "He's Barack Obama"

JibJab has done some wonderful political parody.

Now... this.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Creative video: "Sorry I'm Late"

Keeping with our tradition of starting the week out with a lighter note:

Reader David Achilles pointed me to this very creative video, reminiscent of Her Morning Elegance. Enjoy.