Idle thoughts about stardom

Every time I see this picture — and it is often — I think, "That poor woman."

Think of it. She's probably a nice lady, pleasant-looking, lovely singing voice. Her friends said, "You're so lovely — you know, you really should go into modeling or something." "Really? Do you think so?" "Sure! What could go wrong?"

And here's her face, like that, for God and everyone to see... forever.

I mean, that's the sort of face concerning which our mothers used to say, "What if your face froze that way?" For this poor woman, in effect, it has. Oh sure, a second later, she was back to her normal pleasant self — but the bloodless, merciless eye of the camera had already blinked. Snap!

It's like I sometimes think when I'm watching a movie, and the crowd is running away from the dinosaur, and one guy trips, let's out a Wilhelm (not even his actual voice),  and... squish! Or Superman flies by, and one guy looks up and says "Gee!" Or Spiderman swings by a crowd of faces, one of them scratching his nose.

I think, if I'd gone into acting, I'd be saying to my friends, "Okay, wait for it... wait for it... there! See that guy? That was me!"

And that'd be my big Hollywood career.

(Well, it could be worse.)

Depression (bi-polar and otherwise) and jerkiness

I don't really have a feel for Mike Adams as a writer. He alludes to attending church; his bio says he's an ex-atheist and has an MA in Psychology; he publishes on Townhall, so he's some kind of conservative... but that's about it.

Adams just wrote You Aren't Bipolar, You're Just a Jerk! If you're interested in the topics of depression in general, or bipolar illness in particular, give it a read, then come back. If neither interests you, feel free to give this post a pass. But please read Adams first if you mean to read on here. (And btw, if you start, try to finish it — I think he takes a few unexpected turns.)

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All done? Welcome back.

I find Adams' post a maddening mix of the brilliant and the irresponsible. There are countless folks who really do need to read it, take it to heart, stop hiding themselves behind lame excuses, get the heck over themselves, and grow the heck up. They might also read this post, and get a clue.

But equally there are others who would read it, and simply be crushed and broken by his uncaring, ham-fisted, over-simplistic over-generalizations.

Remember: "Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda" (Proverbs 25:20).

Also remember: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15).

Bipolar? I don't understand "bipolar illness," the current name for what used to be called manic-depression. But I knew a sufferer very well, years ago, and weathered several cycles with this poor soul. I could not for the life of me draw the line between the "OK-(s)he-can-do-something-about-this" and the "only-medication-can-help." I'm pretty confident both are there — given the catatonic state I witnessed on the one hand, and the frenetic, days-without-sleep, on-cocaine-without-the-cocaine behavior.

Depression? I know depression a little better, more's the pity, because I've been there. I was there deeply, and for years. That was years ago, thank God, but the memory is as vivid as the monitor in front of my eyes. And I'm still more inclined to melancholy than its reverse. ("Full of angst" was a startlingly on-target observation a dear friend once made.)

During one particular extended period, I did everything Adams said. I gave myself for others, again and again and again. It made me feel more depressed and alone. I exercised, every day, sweat pouring off me. I prayed. I memorized.

Now, I can also tell you things I should have done differently. My point is neither that I was the helpless victim of an external force, nor that I even really fully understand what happened.

My point is that simplistic, hand-dusting, "There-that-ought-to-fix-it" formulas (when presented in that manner) probably do more harm than good.

People are different. (Deep, eh? I'm full of stuff like that. It just flows.)

I can prove it.

Look at Ezekiel and Jeremiah. Totally different temperaments.

Look at Nehemiah and Ezra. Totally different temperaments. (Further, check this post.)

Look at Johns MacArthur and Piper. These worthy, productive, God-loving gents were being interviewed at a conference. Piper mentioned a period of depression he had gone through that had lasted years.

Pause.

"Years?" came MacArthur's incredulous question.

See, these men are just put together different. MacArthur simply cannot imagine being down or blue for that long. It isn't in his makeup.

But obviously Piper can. And obviously I can. For myself, I wish I were more like MacArthur than Piper in this regard. But ah, well. I am what I am, and that's what I need to deal with.

Obviously this could be a very long post, and it isn't going to be. I'll just close with a few thoughts.

1. A depressed person should talk with his pastor. He should read Scripture. He might check out Lloyd-Jones' Spiritual Depression. He could try what Adams suggests, all of which are good ideas as far as they go.
2. If those measures, undertaken seriously and prayerfully and with persistence, don't address it, maybe it's something else.
3. People trying to help depressed people should study Scriptures about patience, longsuffering, and compassion. They should eschew simplistic quick-fixes. What worked for you may not work for someone else; if it doesn't, it doesn't mean you're better than someone else.
4. Remember, identical symptoms can have totally different causes. Here's Bob. Bob says he is a Christian. Bob is plagued with guilt. What to do? Simple, right? Tell him the blood of Jesus covers all his sins, he's saved by grace, leave it at the Cross, and move on, right? Right — unless Bob is plagued with guilt because he is walking in known, unrepented sin; unless Bob is shaking his fist in God's face every day. In that case, Bob doesn't need comfort. He needs repentance. He may even need to become a Christian.

So, was this post everything I can say about depression?

No sir, no ma'am.

It was just a few thoughts provoked by Adams' column.

Now, discuss.

UPDATE: there is now a re-posted companion-piece over at Pyro.

Amaziah: what a wretched epitaph

I think of epitaphs.

Not that I'm excessively morbid, mind you. I am, however, moribund. You are too, in the final analysis (Hebrews 9:27). We'd do well to keep the fact in mind (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4).

So I sometimes think about how I could be summed up after my death, what could be justly written on my tombstone.

My Bible reading today clanged me over the head with one summary I don't want written: "And he did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, yet not with a whole heart" (2 Chronicles 25:2).

This is written of King Amaziah, and in his case it's a very charitable estimation. Amaziah did some things he knew pleased God. But Amaziah refused to do other righteous things that he knew would have pleased God, as well as committing wicked acts that he knew displeased God, and without repentance.

His son followed Amaziah's pattern (2 Chronicles 26:4): good beginning, pride, shameful end.

For my life in God's estimation, in the estimation of my family and friends, I don't want to leave that as my summary: Dan Phillips did what was right in the eyes of God — but not with all his heart.

This king's son would be ben-Amaziah; he'd bear Amaziah's name as his. My sons will bear the name Phillips. That is my gift to them. What will that name mean to them — being Phillips, being sons of Dan Phillips? What is the legacy my life will give that name?

I need to bear in mind that the legacy is being written now, it is being composed now. What I've done in the past is there, but if godly commitment is overwritten by a shameful end — which do you think will linger? The issue of finishing well looms larger as candles accumulate on the birthday cake. (Or as they get to be so many that your wife goes binary.)

The legacy I want to leave my sons and daughter is wholehearted commitment to God, His ways, His glory, His word.

Left to myself, I don't have the vaguest shadow of the echo of the hint of a hope of that being the case. Apart from God's enabling grace, a bad end is not a possibility. It's a certainty.

God grant grace and strength and faith and love, for His glory. God grant that it be so.

Wanna love that Spam

I think I've mentioned before that spam seems to come in cycles. You get a bunch of vitamin offers, Viagra offers, Cialis offers, Canadian drug offers. They seem to come in waves.

I love this one (click to enlarge):

So you've got to figure: somewhere, there's some schmoe who's opening up his (or her) email, who reads this title, pauses, and says to himself (or herself):

"Ya know? Yeah... yeah, I do. I wanna be a psychologist!"

And then he (or she!) clicks Reply, and writes the spamco, and says, "Yeah! I wanna be a psychologist!"

And then a new career is born.

So here's what I'm thinking. You've been seeing this psychologist for a year or two, and you realize that everything he is saying, Oprah has already said. Suddenly, the light goes on.

You sit up on the couch, and face your psychologist.

And you ask, "Did you once answer an email with the title, 'Wanna be a psychologist'?"

And he (or she!) pulls the iPod bud out of his (or her!) ear, and says, slowly, "Yeah... why ya wanna know that?"

I think about these things #1

The Yahoo! email spam filter can be a bit overzealous, and has caught legitimate emails (including my own Yahoo! emails to myself). So I've set it to put them in a folder, where I can scan for deletion.

Mostly they're to do with changing things about myself or my life that I really can't or shouldn't (and don't want to), respectively. But one repeat email in particular has caught my eye lately. (Click to enlarge.)


Okay, now, losing 20 pounds overnight, that's a nice promise.

But... "Colon cleanse"?

Yikes.

What a night that would be.

I think about these things.