Fathers' importance reported and rapped

The Heritage Foundation's Ken McIntyre discusses and links to studies and stats suggesting a strong connection between the presence of a father and the welfare (not Welfare) of the children. It includes a sobering reminder of the doleful numbers for illegitimately-conceived births:

• 40% overall
• Over 50% among Hispanics
• 70% among blacks.

But on a happier note, this young man raps in gratitude for his dad:

Father's Day, in light of Proverbs 12:4

Aigh! Suddenly, I've run out of week!

I had in mind to do something on Father's Day, as I have on Mother's Day in the past. But now here it is, Thursday. I already have a post; tomorrow's Hither and Thither... and you just don't "bump" Hither and Thither.

I have many thoughts about manhood and fatherhood in our culture, but unfortunately most of them are half-formed and not ready for prime-time.

...then I wrote three sentences, and deleted them all. Which sort of proves, or at least illustrates, my point.

So I'll start and pretty much end with Proverbs 12:4, and an application:

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.:

One could almost write a book on that single verse, but I'll restrain myself. Note that it is the mark of an excellent wife, which in Hebrew suggests a wife of character and substance, is marked by making her husband feel like a king. She adorns him. She puts him in a high place.

Wisdom would suggest the further thought that such a man has the position and motivation to do great exploits for his wife and his family.

Is that a reach? Hardly. Simply move on to Line B and ask, What is the point of contrast? Here we see a woman who shames her husband, who disgraces him and causes him to blush. What is the effect? A rotten skeleton. Bone cancer.

Think, as Solomon means us to do: what can a man accomplish, if his bones are all rotten? Nothing — which suggests a vicious cycle. She demoralizes him, he slumps, this infuriates her, she demoralizes him, he slumps, this infuriates her....

Clearly then the two portraits are meant to clash off of each other. The first creates a cycle also. Because she's a woman of character, she treats her husband in a God-centered way. She has embraced her created role as helper and soul-mate with all her heart (Genesis 2:18). She's happy to be a woman of God, and does her best to make her husband happy to be a man of God. What he does feeds her happiness.

She is in this way a contrast to the foolish woman of Line B, who tears down her house with her own hands (Proverbs 14:1).

There's more to say, but I'll stop. (But here is a little more.) Having blasted the Proverbs 31:28-31 horn lustily in the past — and even done it, right here, in front of everyone! — I thought perhaps you might bear with this word of exhortation.

So, ladies, how are you going to make your guys feel like kings this Father's Day? (Or if that's a secret, how have you done it in the past?)

There. Now I think at one time or another I've given good "bumps" to Father's Day and Mother's Day.

"Outdo one another in showing honor" (Romans 12:10b)

Dads (video)

What do you think of this?

You go first.

(h-t Seth McBee)

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UPDATE: I said I'd offer my thoughts after around 20 responses, which we've now had. So, as predicted, here's my contrarian response:

First, I think all the commenters make good points. I basically agree with everyone.

Second, insofar as the point of the video is that fathers are important in their children's lives, that we must be involved in small as well as large ways, that we must ALWAYS keep in mind that those little eyes are watching us, and that our example speaks loud and clear — good point, and well-made.

But:

Third, my problem is with the constant use of the future tense, indicative mood. IF a father does A, then B WILL result.

It's the same point I argued at great length awhile back.

IF IT WERE TRUE that a son would automatically accept and embrace all the good things a good father taught and modeled, THEN there would be no point to verses such as these:

Proverbs 1:8 Hear, my son, your father's instruction,
and forsake not your mother's teaching,

Proverbs 2:1 My son, if you receive my words
and treasure up my commandments with you,
2 making your ear attentive to wisdom
and inclining your heart to understanding;
3 yes, if you call out for insight
and raise your voice for understanding,
4 if you seek it like silver
and search for it as for hidden treasures,
5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.

Proverbs 3:1 My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments,
2 for length of days and years of life
and peace they will add to you.

Proverbs 4:1 Hear, O sons, a father's instruction,
and be attentive, that you may gain insight,

Proverbs 4:10 Hear, my son, and accept my words,
that the years of your life may be many.

Proverbs 5:7 And now, O sons, listen to me,
and do not depart from the words of my mouth.
8 Keep your way far from her,
and do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you give your honor to others
and your years to the merciless,
10 lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
and your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
11 and at the end of your life you groan,
when your flesh and body are consumed,
12 and you say, “How I hated discipline,
and my heart despised reproof!
13 I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
or incline my ear to my instructors.
14 I am at the brink of utter ruin
in the assembled congregation.”

Proverbs 26:26 My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
27 For a prostitute is a deep pit;
an adulteress is a narrow well.
28 She lies in wait like a robber
and increases the traitors among mankind.

I could go on and on, and on and on.

The point: if it were an automatic thing that —

Good father
+Good teaching
+Good example
___________

Godly, wise son

...then why would the son be told, again and again, that he must accept his father's instruction, that he must take it to heart, that he must remember it, that he must not stray from it — that he's in danger of wrong women and ruin if he does not?

So yes, if your life is the foolish life of the hypocrite, you certainly don't love God, and you certainly don't love your son, and you certainly shouldn't congratulate yourself on what a fine example of manhood you are.

But equally: a man can be a godly example, and teach God's word, and still have a son who turns himself into a fool.

And those are my thoughts on that.

The perfect gift for Father's Day

What does any Christian father most want for Father's Day?

The proverbs of Solomon.
A wise son makes a glad father,
but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother.
(Proverbs 10:1)

A wise son makes a glad father,
but a foolish man despises his mother.
(Proverbs 15:20)

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.
25 Let your father and mother be glad;
let her who bore you rejoice.
26My son, give me your heart,
and let your eyes observe my ways.
27 For a prostitute is a deep pit;
an adulteress is a narrow well.
28 She lies in wait like a robber
and increases the traitors among mankind.
(Proverbs 23:24-28)

Be wise, my son, and make my heart glad,
that I may answer him who reproaches me.
(Proverbs 27:11)

He who loves wisdom makes his father glad,
but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.
(Proverbs 29:3)

...my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!
(Galatians 4:19)

...And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
(Hebrews 12:5-11)

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
(3 John 1:4)

See also:
Why God gave you parents, etc.
A word to Christian yoots