Monday, January 05, 2009

Great insult

I just thought of a wonderful insult. Now, I just have to find a place to use it.

Ready? Here we go:
"The closest he ever gets to culture is when he walks past the yogurt in the grocery store."
You're welcome! No extra charge! I'm here all week! Try the veal!

See? Shouldn't everyone be reading and linking to this blog?

At least it's moved me to create a new tag.

28 comments:

DJP said...

Before anyone asks, I don't remember why or when this came to me. I just made a post and saved it, knowing that otherwise, I'd forget.

And I wouldn't want you to be denied this little spicule of wit, Gentle Readers.

JOYce ♥ said...

Sooooooo, here is hoping you are being encouraged today. :-)

NoLongerBlind said...

Wow

Talk about starting off the first full week of the new year on a profound note.

Makes me want to refer EVERYONE I know to this site....

(ducks and runs for cover........)

Libbie said...

Amusing. I am quite likely to pinch it.

I'm fond of this - "I enjoyed it. Like I'd enjoy exfoliating with wire wool."

But imagine you don't exfoilate, so limited in application, really. But there you go, my contribution to the cause :D

DJP said...

Wow.

Rough crowd.

Doug Hibbard said...

See, this is why I do link to your blog...

But I won't try the veal. Baptist preacher, I'll have the fried chicken...

DJP said...

Thanks, Doug.

And I do know one other commenter who will fancy it. I take it he hasn't cranked up his pc, reviewed his briefs, and accessed The Internets yet....

JOYce ♥ said...

Do pardon ~ was I included in the rough crowd grouping? Wondered if you were having a feeling shunned day or somethin goin on behind the scenes and needed encouraged. :-)

DJP said...

Yes, Joyce! You're a rough crowd!

Actually, this post was written weeks or so ago. When I wrote it, it really wouldn't fit (I'd just posted something deep and didn't want to go silly right away, or something).

It doesn't directly reflect on today. Just reached for something on the shelf, since I had nothing at the moment, and... voila. A choice insult that I'm not sure I'll even ever have occasion to use, myself.

Except maybe on myself.
(c:

Kim said...

Hee hee! I like it!

JOYce ♥ said...

hmmmmm, so now I know where I stand. smiles Seriously, I'm glad you aren't having a bad day and thus pulling out a draft reflective of that. Shall I rationalize it being a matter of Venus perception vs. Mars posting intention? There has to be some good excuse for me. ;-)

If no one calls dibs before this posts, I'll take the veal(Slovak paprikas(h) like my muh and pap used to make?...only when the country butcher had a fine sale, btw), thank you very much. My, I'm in stranger than strange form this day. :-)

~Mark said...

ROFL...*pounds floor with fist*

JackW said...

Grocery stores carry yogurt?

Doug Hibbard said...

JackW....it's just past the cheese. But I never get that far, myself. Just take the cheese, go get some chips, and come home and become more than I was before....

threegirldad said...

"So, did you miss me?"

"About as much as the Middle Ages misses the plague."

Larry said...

I thought everyone DID read this blog!

Happy New Year from Cowtown.

P.D. Nelson said...

Actually DJP I come here to learn new words such as:
Spicule
Noun 1. Small pointed structure serving as a skeletal element in various marine and freshwater invertebrates e.g. sponges and corals

Who needs a word a day calendar when you supply my vocabulary needs.

CR said...

Here's the worst insult I've heard, after someone get's laughed at for someone that told a joke on him.

"May you die of a horrible death."

The guy really was joking when he said that.

DJP said...

P.D. Nelson:

This blog is — alas, to many — an undiscovered gem.

Or some other kind of colorful, shiny thing.

Gilbert said...

Most people are wondering if the economy has bottomed out. I don't have to wonder anymore if this blog has.

BANG!

Well, look. I've been a few needles short of a cactus, but I'm smart enough to realize THIS has a bunch of 'em:

http://www.story-lovers.com/listsstupidsayings.html

Julie said...

Between you and Libbie ("...and with as much authority as a drama major reading his own florid poetry.") my admiration of the bloggy world just goes up and up.

(Is it any coincidence that the word verification is "blert"?)

JOYce ♥ said...

This so made my day. When making it to Gilbert's BANG comment, I laughed so hard I cried. Right then my son came in the room wanting to know what was wrong and looking at the screen to see what was so touching(must be a habit, huh?) ~ exhausting that thought he wanted to know what nasty someone said. We may never know when someone sits on the other end of blogs, silently reading, needing to repent or be encouraged or laugh or cry or etc. when things kinda sorta feel like they are piling up all around and on top. Even those grateful and sure God is sovereign and works all toward good.

Well...just...thanks. I'm glad you dare to post and some dare to comment such things.

Everyday Mommy said...

Try the veal...yer' killin' me Dan...lol.

Russ said...

Uh, right, Biblical Christianity, i.e. Col. 4:6 & 1 Cor. 13:4-8 & Psa 111:10 & 1 Jo 1:10 + insult. Somehow there seems to be some cognitive dissonance.

DJP said...

Beeeecause Biblical Christians don't have senses of humor?

Evidently, some don't.

Terry Rayburn said...

Reminds me of one of my favorite old songs, B.C., by Paul Simon, called A Simple Desultory Philippic.

Part of (from memory) goes:

I knew a man, his brain's was so small,
He couldn't think of nothin' atall.
Not the same as you and me.
He doesn't dig poetry.
He's so unhip that when you say Dylan,
He thinks you're talkin' about Dylan THOmas, Whoevah he was.
The man ain't got no cultcha!

Terry Rayburn said...

Semi-seriously, culture is truly in the eye of the beholder.

Like the Midland, Texas Bushes buying a half-a-million dollar set of china before putting on the cowboy boots and heading back to the ranch.

Or somebody from Ft. Wayne commenting on a culture post (just kidding, Russ...c'mon...I see that smile...I used to live in Warsaw...we thought Ft. Wayne was Manhattan).

Or John the Baptist standing before the King.

RT said...

DJP -

I very much enjoyed the bon mot - or rather the "mal mot". If I am the "one other commentator" to whom you refer, rest assured that I have not been "review[ing] my briefs" (which anyway only takes a minute each morning before putting them on), but rather enjoying my annual holiday in the sunny Caribbean, from which I returned only yesterday. Your remark, of course, puts me in mind of others with which you are doubtless familiar, such as the old saw: "you can lead a whore to culture but you can't make her think"; but predictably I prefer one of my own origination. I was sitting in a bar in Belize some years ago and had the misfortune to say out loud how sad it was that the culture of an entire country could fit inside a single petrie dish. The remark was promptly followed by my exit from said bar and said country - No, people can say all they want about Christian charity requiring such remarks to be kept to oneself, but sometimes the truth will slip out, and if it is going to slip out, it might as well be in the form of an epigram, or at least a one-liner.