And oh my brothers, oh my sisters, these are terrible nose-twisters.
My thought is that, after enduring these, for the rest of the month you'll be able to relax and enjoy the festivities. Offered some peanut brittle or fudge, you'll be able to say, "After what I've been through? Sure!" — in good conscience.
The first was pointed out to me by reader Laura Kelleher. I knew of the existence of The Thing Itself, but I hadn't seen... this. In fact, we'd made brief note of the inconceivable (and I do know what that word means) news that Bob Dylan had done a Christmas album. I'd even envisioned Dylan's version of "The Little Drummer Boy":
Muhhh mih muhh muhNot content with the concept itself, Laura pointed me to Amazon, where you can actually hear clips from the entire Dylan Christmas album. Go on, do it. You know you want to.
Muh mummina mum....
Zimmy — you've got a nice voice! You should sing! Really!"
But this album... oh my gosh. What was anyone thinking? What was Dylan thinking? Doesn't he know he's just really, really bad? What did those carols ever do to him? Why does Dylan want to do such violence to them? I mean... heavens, if you only listen to the clips of "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" and "I'll Be Home for Christmas"... you'll never be the same. You'll want to fill your ears with cement, to remove all risk of ever having to hear Dylan do this to them again.
How bad is it? You'll think it's a parody. It's that bad. You will look again and again at the URL, to make sure "onion" isn't in there somewhere. You will have to guard against flies buzzing into your open mouth. That bad!
Why does Dylan have such anger against these songs? Against his listeners? Or is it just contempt?
But I do know this: if you listen, you've known pain.
PS - when it came to assigning tags to this post, I have "Music" available. But I just couldn't bring myself to use it.