Have you been bad? Do you need to be punished?

This should just about do the trick.

Hey look, they can't all be masterpieces.

If you bail — and you should! — just think about this.

As your dutiful host, I had to listen to the whole thing.

THE. WHOLE. THING.

Some fun, a cappella and otherwise

I said "fun." Not deep, not haute couture. Just fun.

First:

Then here are at least some of the same people doing Joni Mitchell's "Twisted":

And then, alyrically:

NOTE: I'll be afk most of the day, if not all. Be patient about comments.

Hither and thither 9/25/09

Once again, we're all over the map. Let's launch! (As usual, click on pix to enlarge.)

• From Sacred Sandwich:

• Do tell. A poll claims that 89% have figured out that the MSM played a strong role in getting Obama elected. Inexplicably, 10% continue to enjoy sublithial living.
• An alarming, but unsurprising two-pronged approach is revealing itself in President Obama's foreign policy: abuse our friends, and coddle our enemies. Note, for instance, his churlishness towards the British Prime Minister, and his putting Israel on the chopping block. President Obama basically apologizes for (and misconstrues) all of American history up to the past nine months. Hunh. "Nine months." What happened nine months ago?  Oh, yeah. The Ascension of The One, the first time his wife was able to be proud to be an American. On the other hand, some can be excused for gaining the impression that the president rather likes tyrants and dislikes America.
  
• With that premise, this comes as no surprise, whatever.
• By contrast, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu give a stirring, eloquent and instructive address, asking the UN if it had no shame. I think we know the answer to that one. (Excerpts; full text.)
  
• Another Obamafriend is ousted Honduran president Manuel Zelaya, who William Jacobson calls "A crazy, power-hungry tyrant in the image of Hugo Chavez, Muammar al-Khadaffi and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad." The "crazy" part refers, I think, to Zelaya's belief that Israeli mercenaries are torturing him with toxic gases and high-frequency radiation. From a distance, I gather.
• Hm, as reader Lee N. Field observed, looks like it's getting a bit worn-out.  

• The indispensable Mark Steyn offers us the witty and incisive Dislike Obama? You must be racist.  Warning: one coarse word and, thanks to CNN's Anderson Cooper, one nasty word-picture.
  
• Reader Shannon Mitchell points us to this helpful comparison:

• Yikes! This story will make my DAOD glad she's not Indonesian.
  
• Oh, my. Now that is what I'm talkin' about!

• Staying with the burger theme: Aaron Shafovaloff points us to the tale of some Mormon elder youngsters who buy a 100-patty burger, and then get in trouble. 

• Title of the Week. You have to read it the right way, but here it is.  Teen Drinking Tied to Bad Choices as Adult. I read that, and thought "Hunh. But... I'm a teenager. How do I know what bad choices I'm going to make when I'm an adult?"
• Joe Biden Keeps Hope Alive! Happy Joe holds out some hope for the country, saying that a significant GOP win in 2010 could prevent most or all of the harm he and Obama mean to do to the country. Okay, he didn't put it exactly that way, but... go, GOP!
• Our LEGO feature this week is really stellar. Check out this gallery of 18 superheroes built out of Legos. They're really all very good. Here are just three favorites. Guess them, then check the site.
  

• More Lego. My DAOD points us to a 40,000-brick statue of Buzz Lightyear.
• I don't know how many will have find this useful, but the iPhone has an app called Bionic Eye that showcases what amazing things this little rectangle is capable of. Endure the gent's rough accent for at least a minute or two, and marvel.
• The Kanye West thing may be just about played out.  But not yet! 

• Mood-shift Warning: wait until you're done laughing. We turn now to the not-remotely-funny.
• Abortion addict has 15 babies killed in 16 years and writes a book about it. She has two worries. One is that her story might be "twisted by the pro-life movement to deny women the right to choose" to kill bunches of babies like she did. Yeah, because that would be terrible. And the second is: she fears that someone will target her for violence. Because, you know, it's a terrible thing to do violence to someone who just wants to live.
  
• Now, back to a lighter mood.
• Hungry for a Gummi Bear? I may just have the cure:

• Leaving us with, of course:

Obama disagreement flow-chart

It goes like this (click to enlarge):

Baby talk: midwives, insurance, all that

I'd like to tap into the Biblical Christianity Brain Trust on my DAOD's and BSIL's behalf.

Here's what they'd like to know:

1. Do any of you have experience with midwives (or are you one)? If so, how did it go? 
   
2. Does anyone know what associations of midwives (or individuals) are compatible with the AIM program in California? 

For us in Sacramento, that would be a widwife who is a part of Healthnet Insurance.

If there is no one compatible with AIM, how much might a midwife cost, out of pocket (fee break down, please)? 

Do you know whether similar government aid available for home births as it is for ob's (AIM, etc).

If some of  you ladies have knowledgeable friends who don't frequent this blog — well, first of all, what's that about? Hah? But secondly, maybe they could drop by and leave a pearl or two.

Thanks in advance. DAOD will monitor your responses, and probably feed me some follow-ups... unless she takes the plunge and gets herself an ID. In that case... watch out.

My comment on Longman's shrug about the historicity of Adam

Justin Taylor, who (A) has a new site and (B) continues to display his maddening ability to find some of the most noteworthy, newsworthy items all over The Interwebs, yesterday linked to a vid where Tremper Longman (the third!) basically says "Adam-schmadam! Nice story, though." (Later, Justin also linked to a fine article detailing twelve reasons for treating Adam as an historical person.)

The former article engendered a lively discussion in which yr obdt svt took part. After a couple of dismissive comments, I added the following which, to prevent it being completely buried, I share with you (slightly edited):

The presumption of many folks like Longman (here) and his defenders is that we can shave off some select unpopular Biblical teachings here, without a negative impact on other equally-unpopular Biblical teachings there.

A secondary presumption is that any reading that today's flock of intelligentsia do not consider sufficiently "sophisticated" or "nuanced" should eo ipso be left at the roadside.

Unfortunately for both of those assumptions, there is a steady core of us Evangelicals who do remember history that stretches back more than ten years, and thus remember how the exact same line of argument in the late 1800s led to the apostasy and liberalism that vitiated the professing church through the 1900s, no matter how loudly and forcefully we are urged that "this time, it's different!"

We also remember that some of the first defectors maintained some core Christian beliefs that they liked, without the other equally-Biblical beliefs that they didn't — for awhile. But then their disciples applied their own premises more considerably, with an inevitable jettisoning of more and more core belief, until the core was pretty much gone.

So we decline the invitation to hop on the latest float in the parade, knowing (remembering!) that the ephemeral roses which make floats so pretty today won’t smell so sweet tomorrow.

Much as I agree with myself, my favorite comment still is the first, from a commenter named pduggie:

Yep, I have a sin nature because of something some guy did in a story.

UPDATE: Oh, dear. I should have predicted this. Don't miss the "Doubt as heroic" meme in the first meta linked, above.

Some Charismatics come up with their own "healthcare reform"

Broken bones, cancer... even dyslexia! "Pastor Marie" and her "divine-healing technicians" will take it all on with "aggressive prayer techniques.

Plus, the Gospel is optional.

NOTE: divine-healing, worked by technicians employing techniques. This is God-as-Tool, God-as-Force. Plus, a profound misunderstanding of prayer. What God says is first (1 Corinthians 2:2; 15:3) is made optional. (Challenge: find the Gospel on this page.) In fact, they assure any and all, "We are ...not trying to teach, change anybody's doctrines, enlist them in any church or movement, or promote any unusual, controversial doctrines."

No controversial doctrines? Well, that certainly excludes the Gospel (1 Corinthians 1:18-25).

The "healing room" linked above is in New Zealand. My compatriots may think, "Ah, those nutty Kiwis." Not so fast, friend. Like so many baleful movements, this has roots in the US. Now, reportedly, there are "5 Healing Rooms in New Zealand and 649 Healing Rooms located in 31 nations."

Their own web page contains this: "Remember: Healing is a sign to the unbeliever! Hebrews 2:4." How's that working out?  Are mighty, undeniable, apostolic-caliber miracles leaving unbelievers without rational evasions?

Not quite. But they do have one local observer marveling at the high healing-rate of placebos.

Groovin' on The Street: Stevie Wonder, where you don't expect to find him

Here's a fun flash from 1973, featuring one of the sweetest, smoothest, nimblest male voices ever in rock or a half-dozen other musical genres. (I don't think Stevie's ever done CW or opera...and that's about it.)

The older (and younger) fogies will find the end repetitious, and it is: but there's a fun little variation starting at around 6:00 that's worth a listen.

Enjoy.

Hither and thither 9/18/09

This week's edition is a bit different. It has that in common with every previous edition.

• That "eclectic" cred takes constant work. Such as items like this.
• Weasley family reunion?
• Whoa. Rough neighborhood.

• Title of the week. Remember, the title is everything, the story is immaterial. Ours is: Cheerleader hunts, kills giant alligator. One envisions a new series on Fox: When Cheerleaders Attack!
  
• Oh, okay. One more: it is — Woman pushed off cliff by monkey sues. Wonder what they'll have the monkey lay its paw on when he takes the oath to tell the truth, nothing but the truth.
  
• I challenge anyone to read this [be warned] sad, unpleasant story with an un-slack jaw, and an unsmacked gob.
• Stumped as to what to get your kid? You could get him a Lego T-shirt.
  
• Oh my gosh.
  
• Surely there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

• Obama thus far, according to Jay Nordinger:

I thought Barack Obama would be a poor and troublesome president. Did I think he would yuk it up with Hugo Chávez, smirk with Daniel Ortega about the Bay of Pigs, turn his wrath on a Central American country trying to follow its constitution, denounce President Bush abroad, bow to the king of Saudi Arabia, endorse a radical Middle Eastern view of how Israel came into being, knock Western countries that try to protect Muslim girls from unwanted shrouding, invite the Iranian regime to our Fourth of July parties, stay essentially mute in the face of counterrevolution in Iran, squeeze and panic Israel, cold-shoulder the Cuban democrats in order to warm to the Cuban dictatorship, scrap missile defense in Eastern Europe, and refuse to meet with the Dalai Lama — in addition to his attempts to have government eat great portions of American society? No, I did not. You?

• Am I the only one who thinks it's funny to watch Tim Challies pour out 1500+ words fretting about whether he's been too bare-knuckled and insensitive?
• Evidently m'man Frank Turk doesn't think it's too funny. But his comments are hysterical... and make an excellent point. It's Classic Turk™, don't miss it.
• Given our earlier grousing about Windows, this seems fitting.

• The apology wasn't sincere? You're kidding me! Remember the idiot who threw two shoes at President Bush? The idiot who probably only is alive because the SS was slow? After he got in trouble for his assault, he made "Sorry-sorry-sorry" noises and asked to be "forgiven." Well, now he's out of prison, and guess what? He's not really sorry! Gollies, who ever could have predicted that? (I mean, besides me and anyone with a brain.)
• The man who assaulted the President could well have ended up like this guy. Wonder whether he's done that calculation.
  
• The Patriot Act? Oh, it's evil. Evil! Well... except when The One does it. (h-t- reader Curtis Scheidler)
• You all think I'm exaggerating or bitter when I talk about what a Godforsaken wasteland Sacramento is. Fine. Check this.  Here's what I'd guess. While the Emerging movement is dying everywhere else in the world, Sacramento spiritual leaders are probably just beginning to say, "Hey... that looks really hip! Maybe that will help us Reach Out to The Kidz." That would be about right for this burg. h-t my DAOD)
• Update/flashback. By the way, I remember that story, and the whole isn't being told. Check this. The stripper-mother violated an agreement she signed. The church tried to work with her at the time, tried to get her help and guidance. The mom did quit, at least for a time, so the girl could graduate. But now they're apologizing. But she was unrepentant at the time, and rationalized her strip-teasing in an interview with Playboy (which you can read on an old FreeRepublic thread).
  
• So, would any morally-sane adult allow a twelve-year-old to make massive, irrevocable decisions that will mark him for the rest of his life? I'm saying "no."  (h-t- reader VCdeChagn, if I did that right.)
  
• Theologian Trading Cards. Seriously. Oh, you scoff today... but all the cool kids will be trading them tomorrow.
  
• This is good...

• ...and this is funny.

• If "some" is funny, more is better.

• ...and 'way more is 'way better

• Hmmm, I dunno.... OK! Sounds good to me!

• And finally:

What if Obi-Wan had... (or: Sometimes silly is good, too)

More thoughts on dissing dispensationalism at Bethlehem's "Evening"

(Followup of this post)

What's really surprising me is the people trying to tush-tush any objection to the absence of a dispensationalist speaker at this event.

First pass

Suppose Dallas Theological Seminary were to host an event called "An Evening on the Extent and Efficacy of the Atonement."

Further suppose that the event were hosted by Chuck Swindoll, and that there were three presenters: a semi-Pelagian, an Arminian, and an Amyraldian.

Do you think that five-point Calvinists would be pleased? Would they feel it was a well-rounded presentation, by a major institution, on the announced topic?

Suppose further that, when they made their objection, Swindoll (or a spokesman) responded, "Well, if we had a five-pointer on the panel, that would be two Calvinists, since we already have the Amyraldian."

Would that be a satisfying response?

Second pass

Seriously: I think you could make a better argument that there is no need for a "historical" premill on the platform. They should have the a-, the post-, and a dispensationalist.

After all, you already have two presenters whose positions think that buckets of OT prophecies have a fulfillment that never could be gleaned from the words themselves, and never would have occurred either to the prophets or their audience; and you already have two presenters whose positions think that most of Revelation really isn't about actual events "that are to take place after this" (Revelation 1:19).

Why have a third ("historical" premil)?

The point 

It is just like that. Note: the event is titled An Evening of Eschatology. Again I ask, which has arguably been the most influential approach to eschatology among Bible-believers over the last century or so?

Note: I am not asking whether you like it, whether you agree with it, whether you're happy with the way things are or have been. I'm asking which has been the most influential in the area of eschatology in the past century or so.

Another "diss" of dispensationalism

You can like it, love it, loathe it, or hate it, you have only two choices:

1. Admit that dispensationalism has been a powerful, influential presence among Biblically-faithful Christians since (at the latest) the beginning of the 20th century, and a major motivator behind increased lay Bible study, Bible teaching, missions and evangelism; or....
2. Build yourself a little bungalow beside that lazy river in Egypt.

It sure seems as if Desiring God's announcement of a conference on eschatology [link updated] comes down for Option #2.

Several folks (including yr obdt svt) made some protesting comments. To them, this response has just been offered:

To those disappointed the dispensational view has been left behind: It would unbalance the debate to have two premillennials. And we can only fit so many around the table, so we've gone with what's most relevant in our context. (Maybe when Jim gets back to Southern Seminary, they can have the intramural premil discussion there!)

I have submitted a response to that. Like this blog, that one is moderated, so it isn't up yet as I publish this post. But this is what I wrote:

Here's why that doesn't convince me.

"Historic" premils love to take a stance approximating "Oh, no no no, look — don't lump me in with those nasty dispensationalists! I'm sophisticated, and have a very old and respectable position!"

Plus, when the Presby's studied dispensationalism in the 1940s to see if it accorded with the WCF, they tried to be very emphatic that they meant dispensational premillennialism, and not "historical" premillennialism. The former (they ruled) was incompatible; the latter was hunky-dory.

And now for an institution to come and say "Oh well, same/same...."

I don't think so. Are they the same? Then let's be even-handed about it. Tell the Presbys and all the pitchfork committees that if they want to come after dispensational premills, they're going to have to come through the "historical" premills first.

And be sure to tell sites like this and this that they're just the same/same — so they should either shut out EVERYONE, or revisit the back of the bus and let it speak for ITSELF.

And if this (to me) common-sense approach isn't followed, I'm sure the moderator will instruct the audience to boo and hiss if any of the participants says anything critical of dispensationalism.

Right?

Right.

(BTW, to be clear: I am not advocating booing and hissing. If you go, don't boo or hiss. But I do think it would be unfair to criticize dispensationalism in absentia, since we won't be allowed to respond from the back of the bus.)

You'd have to have walked in my shoes to see just how bitterly hysterical this is. I can't count how many times I've read or heard "Reformed" types pouring acid scorn on dispensationalists (usually while misrepresenting them, or picking at some peripheral [or totally-unrelated] bangle) — and then they'll say, "Of course, historical premillennialism is an entirely different matter."

Yet here's a conference presumably organized by educated men, saying in effect, "Huh? Hey, we've already got one premil on the platform; it'd be redundant to have a dispensationalist."

Right. Because they're the same thing.

Except when they're being shredded, ostracized, misrepresented, tarred and feathered.

Got it.

UPDATE: see further thoughts here.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Everyone stay calm.

"A Defense of Dispensationalists by a non-Dispensationalist," by Pastor John Reisinger

[This special treat is a scoop. Two months ahead of its appearance in Sounds of Grace, Pastor Reisinger has invited me to share this with you. The tone is, as you'd expect of John, gracious, and this dispensationalist welcomes both him and it. Pastor Reisinger writes:]

I was converted on a Monday, given a Scofield Reference Bible the next day, and enrolled in the Scofield Bible Correspondence Course on the third day. I graduated from an Arminian, Dispensational Bible School. In my first pastorate, I.C. Herendeen, the man who published A.W Pinks books and tracts, came into our congregation. Under God, Mr. Hereunder, patiently taught me the truth of sovereign grace.

At that time the only books teaching Calvinism were written by Presbyterians. Calvinistic Baptists were unheard of. I accepted Covenant Theology as a package deal and left Dispensationalism. I could not buy infant Baptism. About 30 years ago, I began to question the basic presupposition of Covenant Theology and this left me in “no man’s land.”

I have no trouble believing, 1) the “promise made to the fathers” are fulfilled in Christ; 2) believing the NT spiritualizes the kingdom promises; 3) and believing Christ is presently seated on the throne of David. I see no necessity of an earthly millennium but also see nothing stating there will not be one. In many ways, I agree with the A-Mil but not on his basic presupposition that the “Bible teaches there will be no earthly millennium. Seeing no necessity for one and saying Scripture teaches there will not be one is two different things. I am not looking for a millennium but there may be one. I guess if I had to chose a label, I would say I am an A-Mil with a very low level of assurance. Of course it would depend on what book I read last.

Having said all that, I still have several very real problems. One, some of the OT prophecies have a very literalistic ring. Passages like Habakkuk 2:14 are difficult to spiritualize. The only time in history such a promise remotely came close to fulfillment is Christmas and I think Habakkuk means more than that.

Two, Israel is there on the map as a nation, like it or not. Spurgeon, McCheyne and may others preached that Israel would be restored to the promised land. Many scoffed but there they are! No nation that was conquered and never regained its land or its king has every maintained its identity for more than 100 years. It was assimilated into the other culture. Israel was without a land or a king for over 2,500 years, was persecuted by nearly every nation, some of which tried to literally annihilate them off the face of the earth.

Israel today is like a little David surrounded by giant Goliath's. Every once in while one of those Goliaths mess with Israel and get their butts kicked. When that happens, I check my Scofield footnotes and Larkin’s charts one more time just to be sure!

I should add that when evolution hit full force and a lot of Reformed people were “re-thinking” some things, it was the Dispensationalist who were defending the inspiration of the Bible. The Scofield Bible moved it adherents to start hundreds of Bible conferences, Bible schools like Moody Bible Institute, Philadelphia School of the Bible, and many others including Dallas Theological Seminary. Those schools trained and sent 30,000 missionaries to countries all over the world and everyone of those godly young men and women had a Scofield Bible in their suit case.

As I said at the beginning, I am not a dispensationalist, but among my most Godly personal friends some are dispensationalists. Please do not make any snide remarks about them or question either their godliness or scholarship around me.

jgr

The Party of No (— Good Ideas, that is)

Here's the proof.

Might as well send out the intellectual Chapter 13 notice.

What I hate worst about Windows

Keeping Monday "lite," let's have a little rant, shall we?

So you start an application. But you know it'll take a minute or two to be ready to go. So, you have three options:

1. You could stare at your monitor, unmoving, zombielike, perhaps drooling just a tad.
2. You could go do something — get coffee, go fishing, raise a family.
3. You could start working in a window that's already open. Like that document you're writing in Word. Or that email to which you're replying. Or that post you're composing for your moderate (or high) traffic blog.

Normally I opt for #3. I'm an Ephesians 5:16 guy... or I try to be.

I reserve #1 for watching TV, and #2 for when I'm doing those activities — which I don't do instead of doing something else.

And, perhaps thanks to my Mom, I'm a pretty fast typist. If I'm on a riff, the words pretty well fly out. And, though self-taught, I'm basically a touch-typist. That means I don't always have to be watching the screen.

Ah, but Windows. Windows knows better than I do which window I should be working in.

So, though I might have started that application 10, 40, 75 seconds ago, and though I might be in the middle of a sentence... for no apparent reason, by sheer sovereign gracelessness, Windows plucks me out of the window I'm working in, and smacks me down in the window it thinks I should be in.

Now, I may not know this for a half-dozen words. Or I may hit "Enter" or the space-bar, to separate words or start a new paragraph (chiastically speaking) — but that isn't how the new window interprets those moves. It sees a spacebar as a selection; it sees an Enter as "OK," or "Cancel," or "Delete all hard-disk files."

And because I'm really typing fast, I don't even see it happen until it's too late.

Argh.

So I want to tell the programmer-dudes, "Look, dude — I'm in the window I want to be in! If I wanted to be in that window, I'd switch to that window! I don't expect apps to pop up with the speed of light, so I'm doing something in the meanwhile. So please, blink on the taskbar, give a discreet little 'boop' — but don't yank me out of my window and into your window, okay?"

There.

Birds on the Wires (creative music video)

Jarbas Agnelli saw a picture of birds on wires, and decided to compose a song, using their positions as notes. Here's the result:

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

"Mystery"

"To say that something is mysterious
is not to say that nothing can be said of it."

(D. A. Carson, How Long, O Lord? [Baker:1990], 229)

Hither and thither 9/11/09

And now, Dear Reader, this week's borgaschmord:

• To start on a somber note: today is 9/11/09. Where were you on 9/11/01? I was on my way to my early shift at work, and had no real idea until I got in. For a bit of the feel of the time, check out this live thread at FreeRepublic, people posting as news developed. You won't like what everyone says, but it does remind one of the electric alarm and dismay, and mounting horror. Plus, note comment #38, made September 11, 2001 6:15:55 AM. FreeRepublic is where I go for breaking news, often. It takes sifting and discernment, but you often get "it" there far faster and better than MSM.
• In the days that followed 911 there was, of course, a national yearning for the government to do something to those who planned and perpetrated this diabolically ingenious assault. This was my favorite cartoon at the time for putting a perspective on what was happening. I wrote and thanked the artist, and he responded.
  

• Read some sober and sobering words about 911, Iraq, Afghanistan and President Obama. (Note: some rough language from a past president.)
• Aaaand, worrisomely, the President still doesn't get it. In his proclamation today, he says that we "must apprehend all those who perpetrated these heinous crimes." No sir, not crimes. Acts of war.
• Someone else really doesn't get it, either.
  
• A final 911 note. I have often lamented about how their execrable politics has kept the Hollywood of today from serving the nation as it did during World War II. Very few movies-worth-anything have come out, having anything to do with 911 and the aftermath. One notable exception is Flight 93 (2006). Really fine movie, very moving for its taut minimalism. If you haven't seen it, do.
• Now to lighter fare... though not exclusively.
• Reader Susan alerts us to a new Japanese approach to publishing. It's...er... kind of like a scroll....
  
• They say cats hate water? Well, evidently not all of them.
• Well lookie here at what's getting a thorough makeover. Oh my!
• In a bit of good political news, the President's combative snake-oil pitch doesn't seem to have swayed many to bow the knee to this tone-deaf, ill-timed, costly leap towards totalitarianism.
  
• It's scary when leftist/ertarian lesbian Camille Paglia makes cracking good sense. The Corner excerpts the heart of it. Paglia echoes my Clinton-era astonishment that the freedom-loving, anti-establishment hippies of my youth grew into massive-government totalitarian leftists.
• Then Paglia goes a little (though just a little) nuts when she turns her guns on Republicans, expressing dismay at their support of "interference in women's control of their own bodies." Really? I don't know any Republicans who want government to legislate women's "control of their own bodies" — well, unless she means drug use, self-abuse, and prostitution. But those concerns are hardly limited to Republicans. Hunh.
• Oh dear. Someone found a bit of my old school work. But hey... it was "brief"!
  

• All my fellow men will know the essentials when they see them.

• Preacher-dudes: need an illustration of Proverbs 24:30-34? I may have just the thing. Phew!
• Meannwhile, here's a cute little music video called A Homeschool Family.
• Your tax-money at work: you'll be cheered to know that, with wildfires raging in the West, the U. S. Forest Service is going to pour nearly $2.8 million of fire-fighting funds into Washington DC — "a city with no national forests and where the last major fire was probably lit by British troops in 1814." It gets better. This money, which will be used on festivals and such, comes from the "wildland fire mitigation" stimulus fund. Ah, the stimulus: the "gift" that keeps on taking.
  
• My DSIL points me to some awfully funny EXIT signs. Part of the humor is in their notes on the signs; here are a couple for you to puzzle over. To dangle a preposition.

• And now, for the woman who has everything — Lego earrings. (h-t reader Paula.)