"The richness of the Word of God ought to determine our prayer, not the poverty of our hearts."
(Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Psalms: the Prayer-book of the Bible, 9-10)
So, you're challenged in this. In your prayers, you incorporate Scripture, you pray for your prayers, you seek to have ardent and deep encounters with God. But then in family-prayer, what you hear often never rises above a laundry-list. "Dear heavenly Father, thank you for doing/giving this thing, this thing, this thing. Please do this, and this, and this."
You exhort, you try to model praying otherwise, praying for Kingdom-related, spiritually-oriented things, praising and petitioning; you urge your kids, you point it out in the Bible again and again, you dwell on the 9's (Ezra 9, Nehemiah 9, Daniel 9)... but it defaults to the laundry-list, the "heavenly-Father-do" list.
It feels ugly and wrong to even seem to be criticizing your children's prayers. That is not where your heart is, it is not what you want to do. But do all the above, the more indirect things, and nothing happens. Try to be more pro-active, and you run the risk of being accused of legalism, of forcing your children to pray prayers that please you.
What is there between or beyond laissez-faire and legalism?
Have you found anything effective in turning that around? Share. I'm sure that even those of my readers with perfect families could use pointers and ideas.