Friday, June 08, 2007

Cat haiku

My wife Valerie sent me this. Don't know the ultimate source (pretty sure Valerie didn't write them!), and maybe it's old news to you, but I thought they were cute. Maybe you can use a chuckle as much as I:

Haiku is an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines
containing usually 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively. Uniquely Japanese, they
somehow seem utterly appropriate for felines -- indeed, one could almost
imagine them being a cat's preferred form of communication!

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.

So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer.
There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.

Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.
Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.
I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."


Stefan Ewing said...

Ha, those are all brilliant! The quintessence of feline attitude.

I prefer cats to dogs, but I'm under no illusions that they just prefer themselves.

Rileysowner said...

Ok, those were worth the laugh. The certainly to exude catitude.

David Regier said...

Just wait 'til I post my collection of Spam haiku.

A sample:

Hardly natural
Tortured shape, elastic food
A small pink coffin

jen said...


Stefan Ewing said...

Mixed meat byproducts
Packaged into a small tin
Oh, what hath man wrought?

Kim said...

I think my cat could relate well to the last one. Next time we have to put ours in the carrier, I think I'm going to make a video for You Tube.

g said...

Best one...
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.

Connie said...

All true!! But I still love my cats!

Stefan Ewing said...

It's kind of like the way God loves us, despite our unmitigated selfishness and ungratefulness!

DJP said...

So you're saying, Sewing, that we're kind of like God's cats? (c:

I like it, though I doubt we do nearly enough purring.