Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Wise wives = blessed husbands = happy wives

I love when this happens.

Kim Shay started it. Then Carla Rolfe made an excellent entry of her own. This spurred a sort of a competition, as Jen at joythruChrist waded in, followed with great verve by Lisa at Deo Volente.

These are wise women. They are using their God-given power to build their own houses, rather than tear them down (Proverbs 14:1). Their husbands are unlikely to be tempted, out of starved desperation for appreciation, to turn aside to the honeyed lips of the temptress (Proverbs 2:16; 5:3; 6:24; 7:5, 14-21).

I surmise that these sisters have figured out that a man is better positioned to lead with joy, confidence, and competence, when he is consistently reinforced, heartened, respected, honored, encouraged and cheered on by the most important human being in his life. Contrariwise, it is bitterly hard for a man so to lead after he's been undermined, disheartened, sidelined, demoralized, and torn down from such a strategic and pivotal source.

We're all familiar with the alphabet of praise of the godly woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. For as long as I can remember, I've seen the heart of godly, wifely excellence in verses 11 and 12:
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
This bespeaks a rock-solid commitment to godly benevolence and help that forms the core of a building, dominion-exercising relationship as God defines it.

As I wrote years ago in Questions for a Godly Wife, God called a man to lead, and a wife can contribute to that leadership being a joy or a nightmare. It is deeply sobering, but also joyful, to lead when one is confident and assured of full-on, Christ-honoring, believing, 100% support. It is misery itself to try to forge a path forward for and with the family, while constantly having to look over one's shoulder, and dodge (or bear up under) sniping from within.

Contrary to the bitter carpings of feminists, a wife has great power. I have often said and preached (and probably written) that, if a woman has a half-decent husband, but wants to get rid of him, there's an easy way. Just praise him, privately and publicly, sincerely, heartily, and consistently.

He'll kill himself living up to it.

Though men and women are wired differently, there's a lesson here for husbands as well. Kim's post reminds me of one of my favorite blog titles ever, from the other side of the gender divide. It was, in fact, from Kim's husband Neil Shay, over on his blog. The title was: My best wife now! (—a funny play on the title of Joel Osteen's book, to which I won't link, "Your Best Life Now").

Neil, writing of Kim's excellences; Kim, telling the world of Neil's strengths.

Now, there's a smart couple.

22 comments:

Kim said...

*blush*

C.T. Lillies said...

Thanks for adding that thing about controlling or endorsing google ads because there are some doosies every time someone posts on marriage. Wow.

This is sorta like that old saw 'If Mama ain't happy then no one's happy' only well written and with proper grammar. Great post Dan.

Josh
"...the word of God is not bound."
--2 Timothy 2:9

BugBlaster said...

Well thanks Dan. Yes she is wise and very valuable.

And as an added bonus, she hasn't yet killed the cactus that I bought her recently.

DJP said...

Josh, I just bailed on it, anyway. Not worth it.

Thanks.

Carla Rolfe said...

It takes a special blended-giftedness to kill a cactus. I have faith in Kim that it'll be dead before long.

;-)

Kim said...

Cactus? I have a cactus?

DJP said...

Okay okay! This is not the Neil&Kim Message Board! You guys get a room!

C.T. Lillies said...

The Greek thing is MUCH cooler anyway.

Josh
"...the word of God is not bound."
--2 Timothy 2:9

4given said...

Are you sure you didn't fry up that cactus, Kim?... that's what we did when we lived in Texas anyway... and I hear you are quite the cook. You can cut that cactus up into thin strips, douse those strips in a bit of egg and flour, fry them up and there you go... French Fried Cactus. Or hey, even better here's a cactus salsa recipe:

-two pounds of cactus prepared and diced
-a couple cans of diced tomatoes
-three or four pickled jalapeno peppers (or to taste)
-three cloves or more (to taste) of garlic
-one-half medium onion
-a can each of red kidney, black bean, and pinto beans
-pinch of basil
-a bunch of cilantro
-quarter cup of olive oil
-couple dashes of salt and some -ground black pepper will add flavor
-A handful of sunflower seeds, shelled pumpkin seeds, or pine nuts, or any mix of them

;-D

BugBlaster said...

I dunno Lisa. It's quite prickly.

DJP said...

This comment thread is completely out of control.

jen elslager said...

Wow. I gotta start getting up earlier. I had no idea any of this was happening.

Thanks for your kind words, though I feel so unworthy and inadequate. Except with the cactus-killing thing. Now I can kill a cactus.

C.T. Lillies said...

Um, I don't want to be a 'kill' joy here but I just wanted to add that there are only a few varieties of cactus that are edible and some of those you can only eat the fruit in season. Many of them will kill you fairly quickly if ingested and some have poisoned spines--forget the flesh. Even agave, which is made into the practically lethal drink tequila is technically toxic. Be careful unless you know exactly what you are doing.

Josh
"...the word of God is not bound."
--2 Timothy 2:9

DJP said...

{sighs and looks Heavenward}

How did this turn into a thread about cacti?

BugBlaster said...

Dan, I'm guessing that the cactoid theme coalesced because the subjects of your post are a little embarrassed (in a good way) at the attention, and there is no way that they are going to comment and say hey yes we have great model marriages. So instead they are talking about cacti they have known and killed.

Lisa, my wife's aunt in southwest Manitoba makes a good cactusberry jelly.

jen elslager said...

Whoever said men aren't intuitive?

Kim said...

I haven't killed any cacti.....yet.

jen elslager said...

Sounds almost like a threat to me...

C.T. Lillies said...

No, its...

"Wuv. Twu wuv..."

And that's what its all about right?

Josh
"...the word of God is not bound."
--2 Timothy 2:9

Kim said...

jen:

No; not a threat. Just an eventuality.

DJP said...

Argh! Again with the cacti!

Fine. I know what I'll do.

4given said...

Lisa, my wife's aunt in southwest Manitoba makes a good cactusberry jelly.

Have her send me the recipe. :-D

just wanted to add that there are only a few varieties of cactus that are edible and some of those you can only eat the fruit in season.

oops. forgot to mention that.

oh... and about marriage... I guess I need to make a comment about that on the cactus post now. :-/