Friday, November 28, 2008

"lolcat Bible": When Contextualization Goes Barking Mad

...or, in this case, yowling mad.

WARNING: can't vouch for the ads on the site, and some of the abbreviations are in poor taste. Well, I mean of course, besides the whole thing being in poor taste. Srsly.


Psalm 23
1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
He givz me evrithin I need.
2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.

3 He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.
Then there's Proverbs 1:1-10
1 O hai, I r Solomon: David iz mai dad an I rulz Israel.2 Wizdum, I haz it and dissiplin for I iz nevr scrachin de furnichur an I nos fings.3 I is fair an duz gud fings,4 An be liek yoda an' stuffs,5 A d00d shoud get skooled,6 So's they can figgur out hows teh doornobs werk.7 Bein' scared of teh Ceiling Cat iz pretty good start. But yu needs pay attenshun 2 ur teecher too.
8 Lissen to ur pop, and do wut ur momma sez, srsly,
9 Cuz thay will buy u sum cookies.
10 If sum d00d wants to steal cheezburgr, don't halp him.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'll just let you look at John 1 for yourselves.


NoLongerBlind said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NoLongerBlind said...

How sad that someone would waste so much time doing something like this; even sadder that there is apparently a market for this kind of stuff?

Yet another example of someone coming in such close, prolonged contact with the Truth, yet seemingly remaining unaffected by it....

Ahhhhh, but for the grace of our Sovereign Lord, there go I....

The Doulos said...

This whole lolcat thing is just dumb. So mix dumb cultural stuff with eternal Truth and what do you get? I'm not so sure, but it isn't useful.

Rachael Starke said...


No doubt the Bizarro World Bible press will be publishing the full version shortly, along with the Dr. Seuss series of commentaries.

And I was just getting over my post-Thanksgiving indigestion...

The IBEX Scribe said...

Oh my. It is indeed both sad and dumb. It makes the Bible far less comprehensible and is really disrespectful. I can get a verse or two as a joke in poor taste, but this really went too far.

Ceiling Cat?

/me shakes head in disbelief

candy said...

Well look on the bright side. If someone ever decides to do an acronym translation of the Bible, Dan can help out!

Plus, it will do well with cell phones.

neur0n said...

Lighten up. I have read FAR worse "translations" than this.
Just try out your Christian bookstore.
At least this one made me laff.

Libbie said...

I feel very bad about it, and you may commence making stern faces at me, but I did find 'it maek me so kumfy' amusing.

Kim said...

After 3:30, when my son has arrived home from school, put his books away and had his snack, I will occasionally hear profuse laughter coming from the family room. He is viewing lolcat pictures. He loves the pictures. I don't think he's seen the bible thing.

Rita Martinez said...

I've got one word for that: ugh. First time I read about it it just ticked me off...people can be so disrespectful...

CR said...

You weren't joking about the advertising, Dan, were you.

candy said...

oh ok. Now I know what Lolcat is. Kim mentioned pics so I checked some out. I thought it was a cartoon character.

DJP said...

If you like cats at all, Candy, this is actually a pretty fun site.

jmb said...

I think James Joyce already did this in "Finnegans Wake."

jmb said...

I think James Joyce already did this in "Finnegans Wake."

LeeC said...


I like lolcatz, but this....

I'll say this much, it makes more sense than the reading I heard last Saturday at my grandmothers funeral using "The Message". :(