WARNING: can't vouch for the ads on the site, and some of the abbreviations are in poor taste. Well, I mean of course, besides the whole thing being in poor taste. Srsly.
1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)Then there's Proverbs 1:1-10
He givz me evrithin I need.
2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
3 He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.
1 O hai, I r Solomon: David iz mai dad an I rulz Israel.2 Wizdum, I haz it and dissiplin for I iz nevr scrachin de furnichur an I nos fings.3 I is fair an duz gud fings,4 An be liek yoda an' stuffs,5 A d00d shoud get skooled,6 So's they can figgur out hows teh doornobs werk.7 Bein' scared of teh Ceiling Cat iz pretty good start. But yu needs pay attenshun 2 ur teecher too.Aaaaaaaaaaaand I'll just let you look at John 1 for yourselves.
8 Lissen to ur pop, and do wut ur momma sez, srsly,
9 Cuz thay will buy u sum cookies.
10 If sum d00d wants to steal cheezburgr, don't halp him.