I know some of our great, sound — okay, I have to say otherwise-sound — Charismatic bros and sises will say, "Are you nuts? I've got nothing to do with Pat Robertson! I think he's a barking loon!" Yeah, but, you've pried open the Canon enough to allow that some sort of new revelation is ongoing, and your otherwise-sound faith and practice has falsely legitimatized the notion that God is muttering, hinting, insinuating, and eyebrow-waggling semi-revelation to believers' sanctified gizzards.
So, given that — who knows? Maybe God is talking to Pat Robertson... on the Charismatic premise. (I affirm a very different premise.)
So now you can see on this this video where Pat links the earthquake to a pact Haitians made with the Devil. Yes, that's right: they made a deal with the Devil, the Devil delivered on his part of the bargain, but now God's mad at them and has cursed them. That's why they're poor, and nearby countries are rich.
So here's the things we "learn" from the prophet Pat:
- A nation can make a deal with the Devil
- The Devil can be trusted to deliver on the deal
- The Devil drove the French out of Haiti
- Unborn generations will be punished for a deal made back in the 1800s.
- Punishment looks like poverty and earthquakes; or, put another way
- Earthquakes and poverty mean your nation is cursed by God
- Conversely, a nation that is financially prosperous and doesn't have ruinous earthquakes is blessed by God
- Not only can Robertson read God's mind and speak for him, Robertson can read Satan's mind, too, and speak for him. (Quote: They said, “We will serve you if you get us free from the prince.” True story. And so the devil said, “OK, it’s a deal.” )
UPDATE: Sometimes irony can be pretty ironic. Robertson caps his little yarn with the words, "True story." Yeah, except it turns out it isn't. Turns out it's a legend. Oopsie.