Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Idle thoughts about stardom

Every time I see this picture — and it is often — I think, "That poor woman."


Think of it. She's probably a nice lady, pleasant-looking, lovely singing voice. Her friends said, "You're so lovely — you know, you really should go into modeling or something." "Really? Do you think so?" "Sure! What could go wrong?"

And here's her face, like that, for God and everyone to see... forever.

I mean, that's the sort of face concerning which our mothers used to say, "What if your face froze that way?" For this poor woman, in effect, it has. Oh sure, a second later, she was back to her normal pleasant self — but the bloodless, merciless eye of the camera had already blinked. Snap!

It's like I sometimes think when I'm watching a movie, and the crowd is running away from the dinosaur, and one guy trips, let's out a Wilhelm (not even his actual voice),  and... squish! Or Superman flies by, and one guy looks up and says "Gee!" Or Spiderman swings by a crowd of faces, one of them scratching his nose.

I think, if I'd gone into acting, I'd be saying to my friends, "Okay, wait for it... wait for it... there! See that guy? That was me!"

And that'd be my big Hollywood career.

(Well, it could be worse.)

18 comments:

Rachael Starke said...

"I think, if I'd gone into acting, I'd be saying to my friends, "Okay, wait for it... wait for it... there! See that guy? That was me!"

My work in Hollywood was only one millimeter ahead of that. One movie (My Girl 2, the wedding photographer scene) for all of four seconds, and one episode of Lois and Clark. I would get the occasional phone call about it because my scene was the first out of a commercial. But again, only about five seconds worth, no dialog.

The dividing line between fame and infamy doesn't appear to exist these days.

Susan said...

Wait...just an idle thought on stardom and that's it?? I scrolled down expecting some tie-in to someone, say, Camping, and this is all that's there? Interesting....

Susan said...

(My comment above was intended to be tongue-in-cheek.)

DJP said...

Hey, everything can't be Calvin's Institutes.

Read the tags.

:^P

Herding Grasshoppers said...

I've found photos of myself singing, on other people's blogs, that strike horror into my heart. (Really? I looked like that?!)

At least you have the legacy of your books!

DJP said...

True; and they decided not to use a photo.

Hmm...

jmb said...

The photo reminds me a little of rubber-faced actress Laura Dern in a movie whose title I won't name.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lociyq68hU1qzdlqio1_500.jpg

DJP said...

Perfect example. Pleasant-looking lady, face transitioning from one expression to another...snap!

Robert said...

I was asked to participate in a video for incoming freshmen at LSU once. It was weird having people I didn't know recognize me from the video when the new school year started and then I was more conscious of how I looked. I can only imagine what they thought of what I sounded like since I tend to talk a bit slow at times...

Susan said...

Well, our driver's license pics ought to be enough to horrify us. That lady snapped my picture before I was ready! >:(

The Squirrel said...

My Hollywood career was as an extra in a movie back in 1996.

I've never seen it...

It was only released in South Africa...

Squirrel

DJP said...

Wow, a side of you we never knew.

I don't see your name, though...

The Squirrel said...

If you look under Stunts, you'll see "Christopher Gilman -- swordfight staging." Chris is a friend of mine, and I was in the battle scenes. There were about 20 of us, historical reenactors, used for the "close background" right behind the primary actors.

We were filming in Red Lodge for two weeks of very long days. Those Hollywood folks work hard, they really do. It was up before dawn and shooting until dark every day.

Fun memories, but I'd really like to at least see the movie once, y'know?

Squirrel

DJP said...

Didja get to meet Alice Krige? She's pretty cool, actorwise, anyway.

The Squirrel said...

Sadly, no. She was in the 1950's primary story line, while we were in the middle ages flashback story line. The only member of the primary cast that we worked with was Dennis Haysbert. Great guy.

Squirrel

The Squirrel said...

One really interesting tidbit: Hollywood prop guys never throw anything away. The "chain mail" armor we were wearing was silver spray painted macrame that had been manufactured for 1952's Ivanhoe...

Squirrel

J. Brian McKillop said...

Dennis Haysbert's sister rode in my shuttle van, which makes that only 2 degrees of separation. Should I include that in my resume?

Pierre Saikaley said...

Interesting post.

An unscrupulous high school drama teacher snapped a picture of me for the year book, thus immortalizing me in a pose that looked like THIS.

Ben gets away with it.He's funny.




Me?? :-)